This post was written a few days ago – but I decided to open it up because I’m finding that the depression that I’ve had over the years has seriously gotten worse. I’ve always felt that writing about it was easier and I wanted to bring attention to depression as an “illness” so here it is.
I do have to say that pregnancy-wise I’m feeling a little better now that I know what “it” is now (a girl). But I’ve completely dropped every single other ‘plate’ that I’ve been spinning. I even emailed my advisor at school to withdraw me from the two internet classes that I am taking. I will be getting “F’s” in both classes.
I will be picking up a prescription for Prozac today in hopes that I will be able to reclaim my brain. I will let you know how it goes.
I’ve realized (yet again) that I cannot keep up with the pace that I’ve set for my life. I can’t do everything which in turn makes me not want to do anything. I took a Zoloft this morning due to the fact that I felt the need to strangle someone (anyone) and remembered that I hadn’t taken any for the past couple days. I also keep forgetting to take my Adderall which makes me not able to keep any focus. Today alone I’ve jumped from five different things in the span of ten minutes. I don’t think any of it actually got finished either.
I hate not being able to function. It makes me sad, it makes me angry too. Most of all it makes me useless (as several of my friends and clients could tell you). Will someone PLEASE get me organized? I need help … and I need $$$ so I really need to get on the ball.