Odd Thoughts

I hate to admit it … but aside from the fact that my husband puts his life on the line to fight in a war … BEFORE he actually GETS to the war I am kinda jealous of his life. He’s in limbo right now, er, training as they call it. Before he ships out to ‘the sandbox’ as us military wives like to refer to it as. He gets to hang out with our friends that we met while in Rota – without Xander. Gets to go out to eat whenever and whatever he wants – without Xander. (Getting my drift yet?). Don’t get me wrong .. I LOVE OUR SON!! I just would like some ‘me’ time sometimes. I’m always home (or out) with him. 24/7. I know that’s part of the whole “MOM” job description, but sometimes I’d just like OUT! That feeling is completely magnified when you-know-who is deployed. I know thousands of military wives do it – and I know they complain (whether loud and clear like I seem to do on a daily basis, or to their personal journals far away from prying eyes of the internetz). Either way … I’m just sayin’ …. I’d like to get my ears re-pierced (like, at a piercing parlor, not the Piercing Pagoda). I’d like to see Harry Potter, Hairspray, that new horror flick w/that one guy in that room (?!) … I’d like to get a pedicure and a massage (my dear Lord, my back HURTS!!!!!!!) … When Alan was here he wasn’t really HERE because his mind was already THERE. I’d get “The Look” when I told him I was going to Wal-Mart (or the craft store) … ALONE … It wasn’t a mad look, it was more of a hurt look … which in turn made me sad. Sad for wanting to be away I suppose. Blah … the contacts are about done for tonight. It’s been a long, long day.

I plan on putting everything on Jesus tomorrow. We (Xander and I) are joining our friends in checking out a new church. I need to put everything on Him more often I suppose. Then I wouldn’t feel as crappy.

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