So, I was talking to my friend Valerie and she mentioned reading my blog. I don’t know if she meant this one or the mini one over on myspace (where I usually just bitch and moan about random things in life and take useless surveys). In any case, she mentioned how she liked what I wrote – life as a military spouse, all the weird random things that happen, and how “in the military” doesn’t just apply to the military member, but the spouse also. I also like to frequent sites such as MilBlogging.com and my favorite (non-Navy, and now non-Army also) blog; My Longest Year. I wish I could write as eloquently as the woman at the latter site. To convey life as a military wife with a husband deployed is hard. There are things you can’t say for obviously (OPSEC – operational security) reasons … but also, if you “complain” you can be considered a “whiner” … She didn’t whine in her blog, she created instead. She took all her heartbreak/energy and created beautiful things, lived her life with her beautiful daughter and told us their story.
I went off onto a tangent didn’t I? I just love that site …. Valerie also loaned me a book to read “Emails to the Front” which I loved also. I don’t read. But I read it … And the blogs and the books make me want to write about life a little more. Just convey life with my husband, and life with my husband far away. Life with the son. The dog. The parents. The inlaws. You know … I’m not a “writer” by any means … but I hope to become better in a lot of things. We’re going to begin “Deployment/TAD Number 2″ very soon – it will be “short” this time – but I still have my list of goals (all military wives make them) for this deployment. One of them is to write/blog more. Let’s hope I bring this goal justice …
On a side note – those who know me, know I have a slight fetish for all things historical/old/creepy/possibly haunted … So, today the hubby, the kiddo and I took a ride to Riverside to visit (i.e. drive around and stare without getting out of the car and taking photo’s like I wanted to because I didn’t want to be eaten by crackheads) Annie Lytle Elementary School. She was more beautiful in life then the photo’s I’ve found on the internet convey. I wish I could’ve gotten closer.
This will be choppy since Xander and Samson are fighting over my attention and a beach ball … Our family will be entering “Deployment #2″ very soon. Something I’m obviously not HAPPY about. But, since this is number 2 – I’m not panicking (completely). I’m not sure how to write more without being all OPSEC-y … I plan on updating this journal more often, but we just reformatted the computer so I am trying to get it all organized and working to my liking again. Add that to packing and organizing for hubby’s PCS (moving in military terms) and you’ve got one frazzled Christine lately. I’m not a writer, I try .. but I don’t succeed much.
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Lots of prayers go out to the families of the helo crew from NAS Jacksonville.
I count calories dilligently ALL DAY .. then … I drink wine at night. Effer ….. I was at exactly 1,000 (my goal for the day) and now I’m having wine. See what my husband makes me do? Stupid Navy!
I have lost complete interest in cleaning and doing things to this house. Why bother if we’re moving in 5 months? The bathroom is half painted. The garden is half grown. All the rooms are a mess. I did nothing today. Except sit and cry. I’m such a wreck.
Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow I will work out for 2 hours and clear my mind. Baby will be in daycare and my ass will be on an Elliptical Machine. I will save money by not hiring the trainer, because I have a better plan. He’d only criticize it and make me lose weight slowly like they all do. I have ZERO control over my life right now. Might as well have ABSOLUTE control over my body. It is mine you know. Not HIS (no matter what he thinks). Last weigh-in was 201lbs. 150lbs HERE I COME!
Have a nice night. I’m going to relax and go to bed in a bit.
Ugh, I really HATE the Navy. And I wish I could turn back the clock back to July so I could BEAT Alan into submission on NOT buying this house. I’m really going to kick his ass when he gets home. I half painted the bathroom a Finding Nemo blue, half painted … Not going to finish because what is the point? Why waste the paint when I can knock off $10 and sell it on CraigsList? I paid $60 for this paint and I’m not going to even use it. I’m so pissed about this I can’t even see straight. I’ve made this house my own and in a few months I will be leaving it. Either I sell it and go bankrupt because the market SUCKS right now, or I rent it and go bankrupt because I won’t get the mortgage value on it. I’m SOOOOO pissed and Alan doesn’t even seem to care. “Don’t Worry” he tells me. DONT WORRY!?!?!?!? Are you fucking KIDDING ME!?!?!? This is my life, MY LIFE and he won’t let me live it. I get things organized and he (from MILES AWAY) screws it up or announces Our Lives Will Change In 6 Months – And I Have No Information About It – Just Don’t Worry About It.
I WANT TO SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!