I believe in Unicorns, Bigfoot, “Nessie,” Angels, Fairies, Leprechauns, Miracles, Santa Claus, God, Mother Nature, Ghosts, Demons, Re-Incarnation, Heaven and even occasionally, Humanity.
My blog, that is. It’s always here when I need to come back and write, but it never chastises me for leaving in the first place. It’s a space for me to clear my head of all the static and just let the words flow out onto “paper” (rather, screen). I’ve had this domain name – Starryskye – since 2000 and it’s become something way more advanced than I had ever imagined while I was typing out simple HTML code into my Frontpage 2000 install.
I think it’s time for me to treat this blog as my friend and ally again. To channel my creativity and actually make my brain function more often – instead of just “going through the motions” of life like I have been lately.
Hence – the simple layout. It won’t last long, because I’ve always got to have some wild “pops” of color going on (in fact, as I write this my hair is shocking pink colored).
I think I need to find time to breathe. This is why I am still awake (and writing) at midnight. It’s quiet with the exception of the low sounds of “The Civil Wars” playing off my iPhone. The air conditioner is blowing. The children are asleep. The husband is away. It’s just me and my computer. Thoughts becoming words.
It’s rather nice sometimes.
So, one of my online ‘friends’ went out on the town last night with some girlfriends and met one of the stars from Glee! I’m so excited for her! I never meet celebs for a couple reasons – one being that I never go OUT! The other reason is because I am SO LAME! I think I get star struck too easily – I see a celebrity and think “hey, that’s so and so” and instead of just ASKING like a normal person I get all stupid and WALK AWAY (occasionally snapping a not-so-covert photo). I’m lame.
I live in Hawaii – there are actual CELEBRITIES here! In fact – my current celebrity crush Josh Hutcherson was here only a couple months ago shooting scenes for Catching Fire (the second book in the Hunger Games trilogy). I was hiking over where they were shooting and I am CERTAIN I was a few feet away when he walked by. Did I see if it was him? NO!
Lame, lame, lame ………
Last night I attended my second EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) “class” with my friend Sarah.
EFT is a form of counseling intervention that draws on various theories of alternative medicine including acupuncture, neuro-linguistic programming, energy medicine, and Thought Field Therapy. Basically, tapping on meridian points on the body (derived from acupuncture) can release energy blockages that cause negative emotions. Sounds wacky I know – but it’s pretty amazing stuff.
The premise of the couple classes I’ve attended have been that, when you are a little kid (think 2-3 years old) you are forming your little personality and how to navigate through life. The decisions you make THEN affect the way you behave, think, etc. as an adult. It makes a LOT of sense. It’s actually finding the ROOT of issues you may be having and trying to essentially “remove the weeds” in order to “plant the seeds” and deal with things better (be it pain, anxiety, depression, anger, etc.)
I’m really dumbing it down here because I am still a MAJOR noob when it comes to EFT. I’m really enjoying learning about it though. Attending the class is very relaxing for me, and I feel that the “tapping” is actually helping me a bit. I need to pick a time and “tap” each day on various things. In fact, I think I should make a list of things of things to “tap” on.
Anyway, I have Helen’s website bookmarked (Helen is the lovely lady who runs the class) and plan on reading more.
Oh – and a sidenote! Last month (the meetings happen monthly) I met a woman who I thought could benefit from some of the personal defense products that I sell – I got up the courage and gave her my business card. I ended up selling her a pepper spray right there. I’m hoping she never has to use it – but it warms my heart that she now knows where to get self defense products. That’s why I do what I do!
Well – honestly, it COULD be worse – but since I am in a bad mood I’m sure I am exaggerating a bit …
So, today for the first time I believe I left my bags sitting at the Wal-Mart checkout. I rang my stuff up and realized that the pants I had grabbed for Xander rang up for $16 and change. The BIG sign over the pants in the boys section said they were on sale for $13. I took my Adderall and had coffee this morning – I KNOW that sign was there. I grabbed the pants from right under the sign.
I told the checkout lady this (nicely, since I am usually in a good mood in the mornings) and she looked at me like I was nuts. She said – “no, they are $16” and I said “no, I swear I pulled them from under a sign that read $13”
She said “no, I don’t think so” so I said “well, um, could you please check on that?”
Three dollars isn’t a LOT of money – but dude, it’s THREE DOLLARS!
So, she wanders over to someone and asks them to go look. The person wanders to the back of the store and then comes back and says “no.” I was irritated but I was still thinking of getting the pants because Xander NEEDS dark pants for tomorrow. But, the cashier was then wandering around the checkout area looking at the tag on the pants mumbling. WTF? I say – “so, I imagined the sign?” and I get a confused look.
So I say – “just forget it – I’m going to Target where they have actual customer service!”
I walked out – leaving the diapers, gel inserts for my sneakers, milk and box of tissues at the checkout. I do feel bad because the only reason I had the tissues was because I NEEDED one – I had opened the box and grab two tissues out. I actually feel really bad about that now. Which makes me mad because seriously? So sure, I was wrong because I opened the box and then left it there. But customer service is severely LACKING at that Wal-Mart. Hell, MOST Wal-Marts (sorry Mom!)
I need to STOP going to Wal-Mart. I need to just check out the darn grocery stores that are local. I hate the fact that Wal-de-Mart is right across the main street. I wish Target was closer. They might charge a little more but the store is so much better.
So, um … if you happen to purchase a box of Wally brand tissues at the Pearl City store and it’s missing a couple tissues I apologize.
For the most part, I like to think I have my depression under control. I take Zoloft (lately, 50mg in the morning and 50mg at night) along with Adderall to help with my ADHD and apparent OCD.
So yeah, under control … that is – until a day or so before my period starts. Then, all hell breaks loose in my brain and all I want to do it sleep, sit, cry, scream, eat and freak out over everysinglelittlethingintheentirefuckinguniverse!